After 50 years of trying, just steal Christmas already and let's be done with it, will ya, Grinch?? Because I HATE CHRISTMAS!
I know, a lot of people will think I'm crazy or downright evil for saying this, but it's how I feel. Christmas sucks and here is why:
😒 Christmas lasts too damn long. As soon as Halloween is over, 'tis the Christmas season already. The stores start piling in all the decorations and overpriced merchandise that no one really needs anyway, spreading panic among gift-givers that there are only ___ shopping days left to jack up the credit card with debt in order to have the holiday spirit. One of Springfield's radio stations -- yeah you, KGBX! -- starts playing Christmas music before the final notes of "Monster Mash" are over. This year they started off slow, decking the musical halls only on weekends, but once Thanksgiving was over it's been wall-to-wall happy ho-ho-ho tunes 24/7. Seriously, how long can people listen to the same 27 songs sung by various artists without going absolutely bonkers? I was in three stores yesterday doing my errands and every one of them was playing Christmas music! I may have to order my necessities online until the new year. And the commercials! If I have to see another Lexus wrapped up in a red bow or Victoria's Secret model barely wearing anything but tinsel, I will scream and then ram a Christmas tree through the TV! I'm even beginning to miss all the political ads, and that is sad.
😒 The holiday expectations are too high. Everyone is supposed to be festive, and everything is supposed to be perfect, merry and bright. UGH! By this time of year, I am already depressed because it's cold and the days are dreary and short on sunshine. Top that with the fact that I work at a hair salon, which besides working retail or customer service for online shopping, is the craziest business to be in during the holidays. Believe me, women go INSANE needing to get their hair done to look fabulous for every event and photo-op from Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve! So now I'm not only depressed, I'm also exhausted from keeping our stylists booked and clients flowing so everyone is happy. Sometimes it feels like I'm juggling knives and monkeys at the same time and trying not to kill the monkeys. And I am expected to be festive during all this mayhem when what I really want to do is crawl under my electric blanket ALONE until spring? TOO MUCH PRESSURE!
😒 I suck at gifts. Giving and receiving. I don't know why, I'm generally a creative and thoughtful person, but deciding what gift to buy for someone makes my brain go into gridlock and nearly sets me into a panic attack. Is it enough? Too much? What color? What style? WHAT SIZE? It puts me to mind of the Big Bang Theory episode "The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis" when Sheldon buys an assortment of gift baskets so he'll be ready to match the value of whatever present Penny buys for him. Personally, I'd rather give and receive cash. That way the person can buy whatever the hell they want when all the leftover holiday merch is on clearance, and I don't have to stress. It never works out that way though. My boyfriend DMan is HUGE on opening presents, the more the better, with the unbridled excitement of a five-year old getting a pony. More stress, not only as the giver but as the receiver. Am I showing enough enthusiasm for what I got? What do I do with the gifted item if I don't like it without hurting his feelings???
I honestly don't know what happened with me and Christmas. I used to like it, like a normal person. I decorated the house out the wazoo, pulled out my huge assortment of holiday mugs on Thanksgiving to start my Bailey's and coffee-drinking tradition, sang along with "Rudolph" and "Jingle Bells" in the stores, wrote out a gozillion Christmas cards to put in the mail by December 1. Not anymore. Christmas got too big and gaudy and Kardashian-like, and all the joy I used to feel just fizzled. I don't even think I'll pull out my favorite Christmas movies this year. I'm not in the mood. But I will celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the How The Grinch Stole Christmas by watching it one more time. I'll just fast forward through the end when he grows a heart and returns Christmas.
Happy Anniversary, Grinchy!
I know, a lot of people will think I'm crazy or downright evil for saying this, but it's how I feel. Christmas sucks and here is why:
😒 Christmas lasts too damn long. As soon as Halloween is over, 'tis the Christmas season already. The stores start piling in all the decorations and overpriced merchandise that no one really needs anyway, spreading panic among gift-givers that there are only ___ shopping days left to jack up the credit card with debt in order to have the holiday spirit. One of Springfield's radio stations -- yeah you, KGBX! -- starts playing Christmas music before the final notes of "Monster Mash" are over. This year they started off slow, decking the musical halls only on weekends, but once Thanksgiving was over it's been wall-to-wall happy ho-ho-ho tunes 24/7. Seriously, how long can people listen to the same 27 songs sung by various artists without going absolutely bonkers? I was in three stores yesterday doing my errands and every one of them was playing Christmas music! I may have to order my necessities online until the new year. And the commercials! If I have to see another Lexus wrapped up in a red bow or Victoria's Secret model barely wearing anything but tinsel, I will scream and then ram a Christmas tree through the TV! I'm even beginning to miss all the political ads, and that is sad.
😒 The holiday expectations are too high. Everyone is supposed to be festive, and everything is supposed to be perfect, merry and bright. UGH! By this time of year, I am already depressed because it's cold and the days are dreary and short on sunshine. Top that with the fact that I work at a hair salon, which besides working retail or customer service for online shopping, is the craziest business to be in during the holidays. Believe me, women go INSANE needing to get their hair done to look fabulous for every event and photo-op from Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve! So now I'm not only depressed, I'm also exhausted from keeping our stylists booked and clients flowing so everyone is happy. Sometimes it feels like I'm juggling knives and monkeys at the same time and trying not to kill the monkeys. And I am expected to be festive during all this mayhem when what I really want to do is crawl under my electric blanket ALONE until spring? TOO MUCH PRESSURE!
😒 I suck at gifts. Giving and receiving. I don't know why, I'm generally a creative and thoughtful person, but deciding what gift to buy for someone makes my brain go into gridlock and nearly sets me into a panic attack. Is it enough? Too much? What color? What style? WHAT SIZE? It puts me to mind of the Big Bang Theory episode "The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis" when Sheldon buys an assortment of gift baskets so he'll be ready to match the value of whatever present Penny buys for him. Personally, I'd rather give and receive cash. That way the person can buy whatever the hell they want when all the leftover holiday merch is on clearance, and I don't have to stress. It never works out that way though. My boyfriend DMan is HUGE on opening presents, the more the better, with the unbridled excitement of a five-year old getting a pony. More stress, not only as the giver but as the receiver. Am I showing enough enthusiasm for what I got? What do I do with the gifted item if I don't like it without hurting his feelings???
I honestly don't know what happened with me and Christmas. I used to like it, like a normal person. I decorated the house out the wazoo, pulled out my huge assortment of holiday mugs on Thanksgiving to start my Bailey's and coffee-drinking tradition, sang along with "Rudolph" and "Jingle Bells" in the stores, wrote out a gozillion Christmas cards to put in the mail by December 1. Not anymore. Christmas got too big and gaudy and Kardashian-like, and all the joy I used to feel just fizzled. I don't even think I'll pull out my favorite Christmas movies this year. I'm not in the mood. But I will celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the How The Grinch Stole Christmas by watching it one more time. I'll just fast forward through the end when he grows a heart and returns Christmas.
Happy Anniversary, Grinchy!
