Just do it, Grinch!

   After 50 years of trying, just steal Christmas already and let's be done with it, will ya, Grinch?? Because I HATE CHRISTMAS!
   I know, a lot of people will think I'm crazy or downright evil for saying this, but it's how I feel. Christmas sucks and here is why:

😒  Christmas lasts too damn long. As soon as Halloween is over, 'tis the Christmas season already. The stores start piling in all the decorations and overpriced merchandise that no one really needs anyway, spreading panic among gift-givers that there are only ___ shopping days left to jack up the credit card with debt in order to have the holiday spirit. One of Springfield's radio stations -- yeah you, KGBX! -- starts playing Christmas music before the final notes of "Monster Mash" are over. This year they started off slow, decking the musical halls only on weekends, but once Thanksgiving was over it's been wall-to-wall happy ho-ho-ho tunes 24/7. Seriously, how long can people listen to the same 27 songs sung by various artists without going absolutely bonkers? I was in three stores yesterday doing my errands and every one of them was playing Christmas music! I may have to order my necessities online until the new year. And the commercials! If I have to see another Lexus wrapped up in a red bow or Victoria's Secret model barely wearing anything but tinsel, I will scream and then ram a Christmas tree through the TV! I'm even beginning to miss all the political ads, and that is sad.

😒  The holiday expectations are too high. Everyone is supposed to be festive, and everything is supposed to be perfect, merry and bright. UGH! By this time of year, I am already depressed because it's cold and the days are dreary and short on sunshine. Top that with the fact that I work at a hair salon, which besides working retail or customer service for online shopping, is the craziest business to be in during the holidays. Believe me, women go INSANE needing to get their hair done to look fabulous for every event and photo-op from Thanksgiving to New Year's Eve! So now I'm not only depressed, I'm also exhausted from keeping our stylists booked and clients flowing so everyone is happy. Sometimes it feels like I'm juggling knives and monkeys at the same time and trying not to kill the monkeys. And I am expected to be festive during all this mayhem when what I really want to do is crawl under my electric blanket ALONE until spring? TOO MUCH PRESSURE!

😒  I suck at gifts. Giving and receiving. I don't know why, I'm generally a creative and thoughtful person, but deciding what gift to buy for someone makes my brain go into gridlock and nearly sets me into a panic attack. Is it enough? Too much? What color? What style? WHAT SIZE? It puts me to mind of the Big Bang Theory episode "The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis" when Sheldon buys an assortment of gift baskets so he'll be ready to match the value of whatever present Penny buys for him. Personally, I'd rather give and receive cash. That way the person can buy whatever the hell they want when all the leftover holiday merch is on clearance, and I don't have to stress. It never works out that way though. My boyfriend DMan is HUGE on opening presents, the more the better, with the unbridled excitement of a five-year old getting a pony. More stress, not only as the giver but as the receiver. Am I showing enough enthusiasm for what I got? What do I do with the gifted item if I don't like it without hurting his feelings???

   I honestly don't know what happened with me and Christmas. I used to like it, like a normal person. I decorated the house out the wazoo, pulled out my huge assortment of holiday mugs on Thanksgiving to start my Bailey's and coffee-drinking tradition, sang along with "Rudolph" and "Jingle Bells" in the stores, wrote out a gozillion Christmas cards to put in the mail by December 1. Not anymore. Christmas got too big and gaudy and Kardashian-like, and all the joy I used to feel just fizzled. I don't even think I'll pull out my favorite Christmas movies this year. I'm not in the mood. But I will celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the How The Grinch Stole Christmas by watching it one more time. I'll just fast forward through the end when he grows a heart and returns Christmas.
   Happy Anniversary, Grinchy!

         

If Millennials are our future, are we doomed?

   "Millennials this" and "Millennials that" is all I've been hearing about in the news lately. People are even taking classes on "How To Handle Millennials In The Workplace" these days. So I decided to find out what Millennials are all about.
   According to Wikipedia, people born from the early 1980s to the early 2000s fall into the Millennial generation, also called "Generation Me." From their upbringing as "trophy kids," where everyone gets a trophy or reward in competitions simply for participating, they have developed traits like narcissism and a sense of entitlement that set them apart from past generations. They live for social networking and are "digitally native," aka they can't live without their damn phones and texting and Instagramming 24/7. Generation Me is so right!
   Now I get it. Millennials are the college kids and young adults I am forced to work with that: carry their foot-sized phones in their back pockets, check them non-stop while they should be working, laugh at obnoxiously loud videos of cats falling off roofs and then walk around showing everyone the "hilarious" video over and over, and discuss their playlists as if they were crucial to life itself. My Millennial co-workers also spend more time chatting and giggling with each other than actually working, which may be the reason they continue to make the same mistakes and then just smile and say, "Sorry!" when they are shown the correct way to do something. Again.
   I can't seem to get away from these Millennial creatures! The other day I was in the speedy checkout lane at Walmart behind this high-schooler gal and her mother. The daughter checked out first with a basket full of makeup items for back to school. The checker told her the total was $64.56. The young gal said incredulously, "But how can that be right?"  The checker said, "Well, you had 12 items that were $5 each, plus tax." The puzzled look on the teenager's face stunned me. She couldn't believe that 12x5 added up to over $60! Then the gal started taking away one item at a time to see if that would make the bill equal the amount she had to spend (I think she had $20). One item at a time! To make it worse, the checkout lady told her she could by the same or similar items at the Dollar General for less, so the teenager TOOK PICTURES OF EVERY SINGLE ITEM THAT WAS BEING RETURNED so she could remember what she wanted to buy at the other store. This whole sitch was so ridiculous and took so long that I felt like I was on Candid Camera or being punked!
   After all this Millennial madness, I was beginning to think our society was doomed if these are our future leaders. Then I had a new girl start training the other day. Fresh out of high school and starting college this fall, this gal, I'll call her Bright Star, showed up 15 minutes early on her first day. She never pulled out a phone once, I wouldn't even know she had one except she said she would take a picture of the work schedule so she wouldn't miss a shift. She was attentive, learned quickly, asked intelligent questions, and gave max effort at everything she was asked to do. Bright Star probably would have kept working all night if I hadn't told her when it was time to clock out. And this wasn't a fluke, she's been the same every day she has worked.
   What a relief to know there are some Millennials that actually care and take pride in their work! They may be hard to find, but they are out there. Maybe we're not doomed after all!  

     

Music to my ears -- what do you hear?

   I hear music in my head all day long. Even when I'm not paying attention, music is still there. Sometimes it's a song I don't even like and I'm not sure where it came from, then I have to consciously change the channel and conjure up another song to make it stop. Still, I love having music in my head! Something as simple as a song can make me smile when I'm having a bad day or take me back to a happy time in my life.
   So I was thinking the other day: If I became deaf and could never actually hear another song again, what tune would I want permanently playing in my head? I had no trouble thinking of songs I dig, but picking just one? Impossible! So I settled on two: "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd and "Wanna Be Starting Something" by Michael Jackson. "Free Bird" has always been my Southern-fried rock rebel anthem, and I've air-guitarred the "guitar army" riffs a gozillion times. "Wanna Be Starting Something" unleashes the dance diva in me and inspires me to "lift my head up high and scream out to the world, I know I am someone and let the truth unfurl. No one can hurt me now because I know what's true. Yes, I believe in me, so you believe in you!"
   What song(s) would you like to hear in your head forever?! Music is a powerful thing!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np0solnL1XY




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Uj3zitETs4