Hi. My name is Roni and I'm a Fashion Police-aholic.
If there were a 12-step program for people addicted to the "Fashion Police" show, I would make it to every meeting. Not because I want to quit watching -- unh-uh, no way am I giving it up -- but because I would love to meet other addicts so we could watch together and dish about the show. My Sweetie DMan has watched with me a time or two and thinks it's downright mean the way they talk about other people's clothes. So he's out as my Fashion Police buddy. And my bestie Sara doesn't get the E! channel. There are no Fashion Police bars with the show blaring from every TV screen and the patrons cheering for their favorite looks and booing for the worst. There are no Fashion Police parties (think Super Bowl) with everyone wearing their favorite designers, drinking Cosmos, and nibbling canapes while glued to a marathon of FP episodes. I'm all alone with my addiction, a lone Joan Ranger, oohing and ahhing and you've-got-to-be-kidding-meing at the TV every Friday night from nine o'clock to ten.
In case you don't know the show -- and where have you been, hiding out in a cave in Montana?? -- "Fashion Police" showcases the best and worst celebrity looks of the week, gleaned from photo shoots of everything from red carpet events to airport sightings. Joan Rivers hosts, joined by Guiliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne, and George Kotsiopoulos (Georgie Porgie, as Joan calls him), and do they have fun! Joan is caustically hilarious, throwing out naughty zingers about the fashions and celebrities like Christmas candy at a parade, and sparing no one, even herself. Sometimes the jokes are so raunchy the FP crew can only roll their eyes, but most of the time they roll with laughter right along with the audience of Joan Rangers -- salute! (Every time the Joan Rangers are mentioned, the gang gives a salute. It's cute.) As mentioned, they count down the top five must-see looks of the week, then at the end of the show they pick their best and worst looks. The worst look is dubbed "Fash-hole" of the week, and Guiliana, Kelly, and George each get ten seconds of direct camera time to convince Joan and the Rangers of their pick. The comments can get mighty snarky, and sometimes the bad-word bleeper gets quite a work out! Besides all that, the "Police" has regular segments called "Bitch Stole My Look," "Rack Report," and "Starlet or Streetwalker," which I won't spoil for you by going into all the details but suffice it to say they are a HOOT!
For any of you that know me, you might wonder why I'm addicted to this show. I wonder too. If I were ever a celebrity, I'm sure I would be crowned the Fashion Police Fash-hole Queen. To paraphrase the old "Hee Haw" show song: if it weren't for bad style, I'd have no style at all. I guess it's like someone that wants to be a writer but can't write worth a squat and ends up being a book reviewer -- I have no fashion sense but love admiring those who do and jeering at those who don't (or do but make the occasional very public fashion faux pas). Take a recent episode, for instance. There was total FP consensus that Beth Chapman, wife of Dog the Bounty Hunter, won Fash-hole of the week for her look at the American Country Music awards. OMG it was B-A-D! She wore a sleeveless pale pink diaphanous gown with the neckline plunging so deep it looked like Kevin James's ass crack popping out. Instead of resembling red carpet-worthy couture, the gown looked like it was ordered from the clearance page of the Plus-size Frederick's of Dollywood catalog. Now I've watched the "Bounty Hunter" show before (unfortunately a favorite of my ex-husband's), and even though Beth's usual style is part tough biker chick and part buxom sex goddess, it always worked for her. Her style looked right on her. This ACM award's dress? It looked like something someone that never met her before picked out as a cruel joke. Needless to say, I concurred with their Fash-hole of the week pick. And they were tough on Ms. Chapman, but Joan and the gang always try to say something upbeat about the Fash-hole, too, maybe mention previous looks that were winners or diss the stylist that put them in the God-awful outfit instead of the celeb. So, no matter what DMan thinks, the show is not all mean.
Some days when I come home feeling beat like a tied-up dog from work, knowing I have the "Fashion Police" to watch is the only thing that keeps me from going straight to bed. That and a big glass of wine. So, yes, I am addicted to a silly, snarky TV show, and no, I will not swear off it. But I would love to have you join me in my addiction. Catch "Fashion Police" on E!, Fridays at 9:00 PM (Central). If you can't wait -- and sometimes I can't either -- check out their website http://www.eonline.com/shows/fashion_police. Then let's dish!
If there were a 12-step program for people addicted to the "Fashion Police" show, I would make it to every meeting. Not because I want to quit watching -- unh-uh, no way am I giving it up -- but because I would love to meet other addicts so we could watch together and dish about the show. My Sweetie DMan has watched with me a time or two and thinks it's downright mean the way they talk about other people's clothes. So he's out as my Fashion Police buddy. And my bestie Sara doesn't get the E! channel. There are no Fashion Police bars with the show blaring from every TV screen and the patrons cheering for their favorite looks and booing for the worst. There are no Fashion Police parties (think Super Bowl) with everyone wearing their favorite designers, drinking Cosmos, and nibbling canapes while glued to a marathon of FP episodes. I'm all alone with my addiction, a lone Joan Ranger, oohing and ahhing and you've-got-to-be-kidding-meing at the TV every Friday night from nine o'clock to ten.
In case you don't know the show -- and where have you been, hiding out in a cave in Montana?? -- "Fashion Police" showcases the best and worst celebrity looks of the week, gleaned from photo shoots of everything from red carpet events to airport sightings. Joan Rivers hosts, joined by Guiliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne, and George Kotsiopoulos (Georgie Porgie, as Joan calls him), and do they have fun! Joan is caustically hilarious, throwing out naughty zingers about the fashions and celebrities like Christmas candy at a parade, and sparing no one, even herself. Sometimes the jokes are so raunchy the FP crew can only roll their eyes, but most of the time they roll with laughter right along with the audience of Joan Rangers -- salute! (Every time the Joan Rangers are mentioned, the gang gives a salute. It's cute.) As mentioned, they count down the top five must-see looks of the week, then at the end of the show they pick their best and worst looks. The worst look is dubbed "Fash-hole" of the week, and Guiliana, Kelly, and George each get ten seconds of direct camera time to convince Joan and the Rangers of their pick. The comments can get mighty snarky, and sometimes the bad-word bleeper gets quite a work out! Besides all that, the "Police" has regular segments called "Bitch Stole My Look," "Rack Report," and "Starlet or Streetwalker," which I won't spoil for you by going into all the details but suffice it to say they are a HOOT!
For any of you that know me, you might wonder why I'm addicted to this show. I wonder too. If I were ever a celebrity, I'm sure I would be crowned the Fashion Police Fash-hole Queen. To paraphrase the old "Hee Haw" show song: if it weren't for bad style, I'd have no style at all. I guess it's like someone that wants to be a writer but can't write worth a squat and ends up being a book reviewer -- I have no fashion sense but love admiring those who do and jeering at those who don't (or do but make the occasional very public fashion faux pas). Take a recent episode, for instance. There was total FP consensus that Beth Chapman, wife of Dog the Bounty Hunter, won Fash-hole of the week for her look at the American Country Music awards. OMG it was B-A-D! She wore a sleeveless pale pink diaphanous gown with the neckline plunging so deep it looked like Kevin James's ass crack popping out. Instead of resembling red carpet-worthy couture, the gown looked like it was ordered from the clearance page of the Plus-size Frederick's of Dollywood catalog. Now I've watched the "Bounty Hunter" show before (unfortunately a favorite of my ex-husband's), and even though Beth's usual style is part tough biker chick and part buxom sex goddess, it always worked for her. Her style looked right on her. This ACM award's dress? It looked like something someone that never met her before picked out as a cruel joke. Needless to say, I concurred with their Fash-hole of the week pick. And they were tough on Ms. Chapman, but Joan and the gang always try to say something upbeat about the Fash-hole, too, maybe mention previous looks that were winners or diss the stylist that put them in the God-awful outfit instead of the celeb. So, no matter what DMan thinks, the show is not all mean.
Some days when I come home feeling beat like a tied-up dog from work, knowing I have the "Fashion Police" to watch is the only thing that keeps me from going straight to bed. That and a big glass of wine. So, yes, I am addicted to a silly, snarky TV show, and no, I will not swear off it. But I would love to have you join me in my addiction. Catch "Fashion Police" on E!, Fridays at 9:00 PM (Central). If you can't wait -- and sometimes I can't either -- check out their website http://www.eonline.com/shows/fashion_police. Then let's dish!
