Life Be Crrr-azy: Politics

This is an excerpt from a new book of humorous personal essays I am working on called Life Be Crazy (so why should I be sane?!). Very timely for what is going on right now. Would love to have your feedback.

Politics

It is now 2015 and Donald Trump is the new face (and hair, yikes!) of the Republican Party for the 2016 presidential election. For openers, he harangued Mexico for sending us their drug dealers and rapists in a speech announcing his candidacy. Trump's solution was to “build a great, great wall on our southern border and . . . have Mexico pay for that wall.” “Mark my words,” he said. I'd rather erase his words, and his rhetoric has only gotten more asinine after that speech. The USofA has enough problems trying to deal with increasingly complex world issues already; we don't need a power-hungry bully as President whose only job qualifications are buying and selling everything in sight for mega profits and saying, “You're fired.”

Currently there are 38 declared Republican Party presidential candidates, so many that there had to be two initial debates held: an early-bird special with the I-don't-know-who-the-hell-that-is candidates, and the prime-time show featuring the ten front-runners. No, I did not watch. First of all, I lean toward the Democrats and I can't even stand to watch their debates. BORING! Second, the debate was on Fox News, which in my opinion causes brain damage. Just speak with someone who watches Fox News regularly, notice the vacant eyes and the Stepford-style mimicry, and you'll see what I mean. Third, I could not stand to watch Trump and his floppy comb-over embarrass himself and our country any more than he already has. So while I cannot speak firsthand about the debate particulars, I can report that The Donald is currently at the top of the Republican pack in the polls.

America, we are in some seriously deep shit if this Trump-mania continues.

Now to the Democrats. Obama is out, two terms and done. Nineteen candidates have officially declared they will run, with Hillary Clinton on top of the heap of mostly unknowns. The Republicans are doing all they can to knock her off that heap, currently focusing on missing data from the time she was Secretary of State. The most recent soundbite was a reporter asking whether Clinton's email server had been “wiped clean of data,” and Clinton snarkily responding, “What – like with a cloth or something?”

I totally get her answer if she was being snarky because she doesn't like to clean. I abhor cleaning. But if she wasn't , then it makes her sound guilty, as if she's covering up something. We've had our first black President; now I think it's time for a woman as Pres, so I'm rooting for you, Hill. But for fuck's sake, keep the cover-up in your makeup bag and tell the truth.

Speaking of truth, Vice President Joe Biden is currently testing the waters about running for President. While a likable but tough-as-nails fellow, Biden may be way more truth that this country can handle. The dude doesn't have a brain-filter that catches the don't-say-that shit before it flies out of his mouth and hits the fan. Case in point, at the signing of the Affordable Care Act, Biden whispered to President Obama, “This is a big fucking deal,” loud enough for reporters to hear and quote.

Huh? Trump, who doesn't care what he says or who he offends; running against Hillary, who puts more spin on her comments than a washing machine; or against Joe no-filter Biden. This presidential race is going to be a wild ride, that's for sure.

Regardless of who wins, if we “the people” did our jobs like most politicians, we'd all be unemployed. Come to think of it, it might be fun for The Donald to be President just so we could say “You're fired” when he screws up. And he will. Mark my words.