Life Be Crrr-azy: Diarrhea and Mother's Day

Mama and I tend toward having the black funks. A lot. If you haven't had it, consider yourself dayum lucky. Nothing brings you joy when you're in the funk, even chocolate (and believe me, we've tried every kind there is), and you don't want to get out of bed. Ever. Maybe that's why we like napping so much. Anyway, Mama calls me the other evening (not unusual 'cause we talk every day) and starts right off singing:

DI - ah - rrhe - a

diarrhea

DI - a - RRHE - E - AHH

to the tune of "Hallelujah Chorus." Now this was unusual. I asked what was going on. Mama said we should start singing the "Diarrhea song" to each other instead of saying "hello" to make each other laugh and ward off the black funks. We did laugh. Then I started singing her a complementary song I remembered from the movie Parenthood, even though I had to make up some of the verses I couldn't remember verbatim:

When you're sliding into first

and your gut's about to burst,

diarrhea, diarrhea.

When you're sliding into two

and your shorts are full of poo,

diarrhea, diarrhea.

When you're sliding into third,

and you've got to make a turd,

diarrhea, diarrhea.

When you're sliding into home

and your pants are full of foam,

diarrhea, diarrhea.

The song was apropos to the movie because it was a kid singing it as they were leaving a baseball game to make his younger sister laugh. It sure made Mama laugh, too, and she even got a piece of paper to write down the verses. We've had several laughs with both songs since them.

Just a little Mother's Day tale to say "Thanks Mama" for sharing the black funks with me and making me laugh. Also to give you readers a glimpse of the murky cesspool of a gene pool I come from so you'll understand a little better why I'm so crrr-azy.

The black funk has had hold of me pretty intensely the past two days, and DMan has been so good to give me space. Today he brought me home a luscious-colored bouquet of flowers to cheer me up. They are in a beer pitcher on the table in front of my computer. We ate a big ol' mess of pancakes and then napped for several hours. Nothing like pancakes and milk to induce a deep carb coma. Now I'm trying to wake up with some killer strong coffee. I've got to meet Mama (and Daddy) soon to buy her a banana split for her Mother's Day treat. Of course, I'll have to buy me one, too. I am gonna be on a caffeine and sugar buzz from now until the end of time. Maybe the buzz will short-circuit the black funk?

Wishing a Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there! You are sure amazing for all you put up with all year long and then settle for a card and a burnt breakfast (or banana split) once a year in thanks! I sure couldn't do it. I can't even handle having a dog anymore without going hide-under-the-covers crrr-azy!

Have a cherry-on-top-of-Sunday crazy day, Yall!